This is my room from high school. My mom (God LOVE her) wouldn’t allow me to decorate my room, so I moved out into a room that was attached to our garage. I was 15 years old (I have always had an independent spirit) and determined to have a space of my own. She let me paint it, install a window AC, and put adhesive black/white squares on the floor. Voila! A canvas was born – a place where I could put posters up, and decorate it however I wanted. BLISS.
I’ve always taken photos of my spaces just like I’ve always had a journal – it’s a way that I can easily document my life. I LOVE looking back as a way to see + feel the progress of moving forward + creating a life.
I found these photos recently and my heart almost burst with love for this young girl. I loved John Lennon. I was obsessed with all the songs from The Little Mermaid while also being a HUGE fan of Mazzy Star and all things alternative rock. If you look closely, I had Little Mermaid SHEETS on my bed. I loved The B52’s. I loved vintage dresses from the thrift store. I loved surrounding myself with inspiration on the walls (still do!) and memories of good times. I loved Light and Goodness and Kindness. My youth group was a HUGE influence in my life and is the reason I went into Social Work in college. I still think often of my youth group leader who was a living angel in my life.
I think so many of us grow up + forget these younger versions of ourselves – the years before obligation and complicated adulting began. Don’t get me wrong. My childhood held much trauma, much loss. None of us escapes this journey without it (Earth = trauma school). But inside all of that was still a version of me that held purity, original essence, a light that wasn’t fully layered over yet with responsibility, motherhood, marriage, life.
I’ve been looking to this younger version of myself recently. She reminds me of my heart, my original essence, my radiance. And I thank her, endlessly for carrying me through.
How about you. What did your high school room say about you? Were you allowed to decorate it? How are you grateful for that version of yourself today?