i had a long and much needed conversation with my bff gina today. not only does she know me very well (we’ve known one another since the first day of 7th grade, second period, mrs. durant’s science class) but she’s also a skilled therapist…how did i get so lucky to have a bff therapist all of these years – divine intervention, i’m sure.
this conversation, paired with the following words gifted to me from another skilled observer of the human heart, have me pausing to re-evaluate my life inside these tender weeks:
“kelly, really take care of yourself right now. i’ll share that I wish someone would have whispered to me: you can slow down, say no, and do less. the success and opportunities you’ve created won’t go away. it’s real. it’s here to stay.”
i feel like i’ve been on a major learning curve lately when it comes to my emotional health. i’m all over the place, scattered both in joy and in overwhelm. as i try to regain my composure, i’m learning that i’m so often the big sister and social worker to the people in my life (directly + indirectly) when all i want these days is some serious nurturing myself. it hasn’t even occured to me to step outside of these roles and tenderly step into a space of asking for guidance, advice, and knowledge. although i have truly supportive friends and family, i have been reminded lately that i must give myself the gift of some mothering + nurturing – whatever that looks like: a trip to the spa for a massage, a few days without work or the computer, physical activity (for emotional release), physical rest (for emotional recovery), some play time, discovery time, phone time with dear souls, and permission to let all the feelings freely come, to sit with it all, and walk through them (and not around them) to the other side where lightness waits for me.
nurturing. i’m opening myself up to it. and so, i’ve given myself the week for soul camp: limited work, more play + rest, and books, and dvr’d shows that have piled up the last several weeks, movie dates, daydreaming dates, friend dates, writing dates, and creative play. after this week, i’m going to work very hard at infusing all the above into my normal, regular weeks in the ever constant quest for balance and soul care on an ongoing basis. this is my biggest struggle: sustaining a sense of balance for any extended period of time. it’s one of my biggest dreams.
I love this post so much, Kelly Rae. As a life coach, I put so much into my sessions about celebrating milestones both big and small, and about saying "no" – but this is much more. This is about saying "help" when you're used to being the helper. I love the idea of a Soul Week that's all yours, & I'm thinking of when I can do one myself….
Kelly, sharing your thoughts is helping me to take a look at my own needs. Thanks for being so open.
All I can think of is how much I wish I could go to Italy with you 🙂
Kelly Rae you rock! I love your book and am working on improving my sketches every day because of you. Again love, love, love your book and thank you so much for inspiring me to be creative!
I think you have hit on a true problem with women today. It is in epidemic proportions that we don’t take care of ourselves and are too busy. Good for you taking some time to slow down. Keep reminding yourself because it is so easy to forget. I love your work and your transparency. Thanks for being you!
IT IS SO REAL! and the coolest part is: it’s yours. live it on your terms…you rock, miss krr! linda
You BFF sounds wise… worth listening to. As you know, those who are trained to take care of others are usually the last to take care of themselves!
Have fun! Sounds like you really need a mental health day.lol….
We all need RnR. Take the needed time off and enjoy.
I love your honesty, always. It is encouraging the rest of us with similar struggles! This is one that touches close to home. I have a note on my bathroom that say, “Do less with more.” Fewer things, more passion and energy.
love your transparency, kelly rae! especially written out in the greater sphere.
I’ve come to that sad place in my life where my mother and I have switched roles and I so miss knowing I could run to her (even as an adult) and pour out my heart and know it was safe with her no matter what. That makes me feel very alone in the world, even though I am blessed with loving friends. It’s just not the same.
And so I wrestle time away from my commitments to nourish myself…to rest, play, and refill my glass!
Thanks for sharing
Do more! Go Faster!
So often this is what we hear, when the real message should be- You are enough (a quote stolen from you, dear one!)You are doing enough, probably more than your share, since you are a driven, nurturing, caring and creative woman. Bravo to you for taking time for yourself.
As in all things, the balance is often an ebb and flow of giving and receiving. I think, as women, we often forget that we deserve to receive as well as give. and to receive nurturing from ourselves, well- that is the greatest gift.
We look forward to welcoming our much refreshed, soulfully replenished, joyously creative mentor back!
much love from Montana,
Lorie
I like a lot your style !!!
great and insightful post! and you’re right, some times you have to take care of YOU– you cant wait for others. You are doing so well and I know it is lasting, you have an amazing talent!
wishing you a blessing*full week of nurturing, kelly rae…as a dear, wise woman tells me each time we part so i say to you, “go gently.”
warmly,
gem
i can relate to your feelings of being on an emotional roller coaster. What i have decided to do is fall in love with me. instead of being concerned what others think, i am being concerned with loving me just as i am. i pray for your finding balance and being happy with being you.
A very skilled observer!!
I think that’s the bit that gets me –
That if you do slow down, the opportunities will go away.
Maybe someone just needs to smack me over the head every now and then.
I love that piece of advice your received about not worrying that everything will disappear. It’s just what I needed to hear at this very moment. Thanks for passing it along.
I hope you have a wonderful time at Soul Camp. The illusive balance is a life long quest I think.
hooray for soul camp!! i’m taking a much needed 3 day weekend this weekend for that exact purpose!! enjoy yourself! 🙂
Hi,
Your paintings are sooo pretty! I like your style.
About nurturing – it’s strange, but for a little while now I’ve kept ‘accidentally’ finding posts like this, about relaxation, taking care of yourself and trusting that things will be okay – it’s like I’m attracting it to myself because it’s something I ought to learn.
I’ve always loved to work and be busy, I’ve worked as a teacher for a few years but am now starting my own creative business. It will be interesting to try to find a balance between doing EVERYTHING myself and not wearing out….
♥ visit me at http://www.afiori.com ♥
It is so very hard to say no… and to worry what will happen if you do.
I guess it is good that you are aware you need some mothering time… often people don’t realise it till it is too late.
good luck with your me time (I mean you time, you know what I mean)
Bravo Kelly. Your friend is so right. Take TIME to enjoy the moment and slow down. Eat good foods and get plenty of rest. All of this isn’t going anywhere. I have a friend who has done too much – is burnt out and now is having an emotional meltdown. Don’t let this happen to you. Give yourself the attention you need and deserve and say NO.
Gosh, Kelly Rae you are so true about finding balance(with emotional, physical and everything in between!)It’s always important to care for ourselves, but it’s one most everyone forgets to do.
I know I do!!
I’m SO bummed that I will not be joining you for Italy or Utah. Do you think you and Mati will be at Squam next year?
XOXO~ Jill Nalette
I am a BIG proponent of women mothering themselves. Particularly for moms or for those in the caretaking professions, it is so easy for us to spend all our time making sure that others are okay, and not give the same attention to ourselves.