i had a long and much needed conversation with my bff gina today. not only does she know me very well (we’ve known one another since the first day of 7th grade, second period, mrs. durant’s science class) but she’s also a skilled therapist…how did i get so lucky to have a bff therapist all of these years – divine intervention, i’m sure.
this conversation, paired with the following words gifted to me from another skilled observer of the human heart, have me pausing to re-evaluate my life inside these tender weeks:
“kelly, really take care of yourself right now. i’ll share that I wish someone would have whispered to me: you can slow down, say no, and do less. the success and opportunities you’ve created won’t go away. it’s real. it’s here to stay.”
i feel like i’ve been on a major learning curve lately when it comes to my emotional health. i’m all over the place, scattered both in joy and in overwhelm. as i try to regain my composure, i’m learning that i’m so often the big sister and social worker to the people in my life (directly + indirectly) when all i want these days is some serious nurturing myself. it hasn’t even occured to me to step outside of these roles and tenderly step into a space of asking for guidance, advice, and knowledge. although i have truly supportive friends and family, i have been reminded lately that i must give myself the gift of some mothering + nurturing – whatever that looks like: a trip to the spa for a massage, a few days without work or the computer, physical activity (for emotional release), physical rest (for emotional recovery), some play time, discovery time, phone time with dear souls, and permission to let all the feelings freely come, to sit with it all, and walk through them (and not around them) to the other side where lightness waits for me.
nurturing. i’m opening myself up to it. and so, i’ve given myself the week for soul camp: limited work, more play + rest, and books, and dvr’d shows that have piled up the last several weeks, movie dates, daydreaming dates, friend dates, writing dates, and creative play. after this week, i’m going to work very hard at infusing all the above into my normal, regular weeks in the ever constant quest for balance and soul care on an ongoing basis. this is my biggest struggle: sustaining a sense of balance for any extended period of time. it’s one of my biggest dreams.