After a full month of traveling to CA to teach and then to NYC for Gudrun ambassador fun, I am home.
HOME. There’s something about flying in/out of new-to-me airports and returning to a newish home/town that has me feeling more deeply rooted here. Autumn is here and the air is crisp and my heart is full.
I arrived home from my travels to a looooong to-do list, all kinds of commitments, and a packed schedule. After taking a few inhales/exhales, I promptly cleared my schedule this week of anything that wasn’t 100% needed.
Hello, self-care. Hello, creating freedom. Hello, slowly changing my default from go go go to nope nope and no. The lists can wait. The schedules can wait. The inaccurate measuring sticks of my worthiness can wait.
You guys! This work of unlearning and not defaulting to old patterns is REAL. Not sabotaging myself of the present moment is soul work. And I am grateful.
I haven’t laughed as hard or as much in the last many years perhaps than I have in the last couple of months since moving here. I want to protect that space, that sacred lightness of being. Noticing the changing leaves this season helps. Volunteering at my kid’s school is LIFE. Slowing down my mornings is grace. Creating tons of spaciousness in my schedule and saying no to just about everything makes me giddy.
Freedom has been my word this year, and it has changed everything for me. And I’m so, so glad to be home in all the senses of the word. Home to myself. Home in my family. Home in my creativity. Home in my self-care work. Home.
How are you out there? How is your heart? I’d love to know.
xoxox
Hey Kelly Rae it’s Texas Wendy from Spirit Wings 2019. On Wednesday, October 9th the building next to mine caught fire and took my building down with it. I have a co-working space called The Desk & Easel. My studio was in back and my art hung on the walls. We had 2 lofts upstairs that I designed and filled with custom painted/created heart treasures just like downstairs. No one was hurt and we thank God for that. We are blessed to live in a community that is so loving and supportive. They have embraced our sweet tenant families and business owners. They are holding fundraisers and supporting every way they can, but if one more person says “Things can be replaced” I will punch them in the face. I will feel very bad afterwards and I will apologize profusely but they will have asked for it.
Your belongings are a part of your life. You chose them or were gifted them. You live your life with them and when they are gone you miss them.
Works of art come from a special place in your heart. It marks a time in your life or just your day. It is like a breath. You only breathe that breath one time then it is gone and you breathe another unique breath. When art is lost or destroyed it is gone forever. I am grieving the loss of 3 years of dreaming and creating. I am trying to sit with and receive the grief as it comes. I am meditating and writing in my journal. I know my joy comes from the Lord but I also know He counts every single tear I cry. I need to cry more.
Wendy, I love your honesty here about the well-meaning yet infuriating “Things can be replaced” comments. AND I’m so sorry this happened! I can only imagine the heartbreak after losing not just the the things that you created with your heart, but the space that you held a vision for, nurtured and created. Please let me know when you have a new space as I would love to send you a little something for it. In the meantime, permission granted to cry and cry some more. xoxoxoox
Kelly Rae, this post reflects my current work to the tee! As a “retired” person I have felt that my time is endless, giving way to saying yes to it ALL. I feel so blessed to have options and opportunities to do many things. HOWEVER, running hither and yon constantly to fulfill all the YES’s leaves little time for simply being. I also feel the challenge of fitting it all in while I still can function well ( I have Young Onset Parkinson’s disease). It is a powerful thing to say NO and re-evaluate as needed to find a pace that works. Gratitude and mindfulness are also an integral part of my practice. Thank you for your work and your words. They hold a special place for me.
Thank you for the beautiful message. Love your comment about the measuring stick. Really so much wisdom to take to heart about self care which I sooooooo need!!!!! It’s my go to to take care of everything and everyone else and then there’s not much left for me. Your reminders and posts are speaking to my soul! Also, I’m loving the Sanctuary!!!
Thank you, Rhonda :). Here’s to laying down all the measuring sticks 🙂
I love what you are doing, Kelly! I love the idea of wearing my joy but normally only get around to it about once a month! But when I do, I feel like I want to dress up for a tea party with my girlfriends!
(And now that my husband has dementia, I really need the joy!)
Thanks for the encouragement!!!)
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