I Heart Your Heart – NEW art and a story about sacred contracts

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John and I recently celebrated 15 years of marriage. “FIFTEEN YEARS!“, I say to myself, partly astonished, partly bewildered, and more parts proud. Inside those 15 years, especially the last five since becoming parents, there has been so much growth. So much.

I’ve been thinking about love and partnership and marriage and being ALL IN quite a lot lately. I’ve been partnered up long enough to know now that there are times that you’re not sure you’re going to make it, when you want to run, when you can’t believe the sheer amount of work there is to untangle the mess, the misguided turns, the stories you’ve told yourself that simply aren’t true. Yet, there is also delicate, nuanced beauty in those moments you’ve worked so hard for where you can see the divinity in your partnering, the ordained healing that came forth because you found one another.

I deeply believe that The universe (or God, Spirit, Light, Source – whatever you want to call it) puts people in our lives who are in direct service of our healing, even when it’s hard, perhaps especially when it’s hard. Friends, partners, husbands, ex- husbands, bosses, anyone that reaches our hearts in some capacity.  These are the exact people our souls call forth to help ignite the healing that we are meant for. These people who find their way into our lives aren’t random, casual encounters of the heart. No, I think they’re our divine mirror, a sacred reflection, a portal into SEEING and healing whatever we’re here to heal. Soul contracts. Sacred contracts. Heart to heart contracts.

John has been a big healer for me, and me for him these last 15+ years. I’ll never forget the moment I realized it, either. It was six months after we’d been married. He was diagnosed with Melanoma, a cancer we were told was sure to be deadly if it had progressed past stage one. While we were waiting to find out if it had spread to his lymphatic system, I was in deep struggle, having a triggered response from an old wound and fear from my childhood. Over Christmas break during the third grade, I lost a parent to a tragic car accident. In the following months and years I watched my family fall apart, including my mom’s shock and devouring grief. Her heart was broken. I was certain it would happen to me, too. And John’s cancer diagnosis made that fear seem acutely real, like I had willed it.

John’s cancer turned out to be totally treatable, stage one, but for many years, it was every six months going back for more biopsies and more testing to be sure he was clear. And every six months, I found myself struggling again and again, and again. In so many ways, it felt like I couldn’t escape the trauma of my childhood and all the unresolved stuff I was carrying around because of it.

But something magical happened in those months after his diagnosis. Not only did we learn early in our marriage to never take one another for granted, but I also learned something really critical in my spiritual journey and it was this: Every relationship has been given to us for a specific + wise intention.

John and all of his vigor and risk-taking ways was EXACTLY who I needed to fall in love with – on a real spiritual level, someone who could usher in so much healing for me just by being himself. His cancer diagnosis. His adrenaline seeking habits. His vigor and love of life and risk taking – it all forced me to look at my wounds, my old beliefs, and not just own what was my irrational fear but to HEAL it so that not only our marriage would survive but so that I could be free from something that I was holding me back in HUGE ways not just in my marriage, but in my own life as someone who was constantly playing it safe in life.

Since then, I’ve fully trusted that there exists a sacred usefulness in the relationships that we attract. Perhaps it’s a relationship that helps us let go of something that no longer serves us. Perhaps it’s an acquaintance or mentor that shows us what self-care and compassion looks like. Perhaps it’s a friend that mirrors back to us all of our brilliance. Whatever the case, and however big or small, these relationships are sacred contracts, healing vessels , and compassionate mirrors in which to dive deep into our soul work.

We cannot avoid these people, because our souls have attracted them. And we should honor and witness these relationships as portals into loving our woundedness into a place of peace and wholeness.

Here’s to all of it, sisters. The healing, the sacred contracts, the love waiting to be unearthed.

XO

PS: Speaking of healing, on our latest podcast, Nichole & I answer a question that came our way about healing childhood wounds. Click on over to listen (or subscribe in iTunes).

XO