(photo of me at 30 weeks pregnant by andrea scher)
“No matter where you are in your life right now, no matter who you are, no matter how old you are – it is never too late to be who you are meant to be.” – Esther + Jerry Hicks
i’m 31 weeks pregnant this week. and although I’ve embraced this pregnancy journey whole heartedly, I’m starting to really feel like i was meant to be a mom. this isn’t a feeling i’ve always had, and it’s part of why it took me so long to decide to have children, but something has shifted and now i know in my bones i was meant for motherhood. we’re not ready – we don’t have a crib, a changing table, barely any onesies, or any equipment. but we’re ready in our hearts. and that’s what matters.
(photo by ali edwards)
last week at our lovebomb gathering, i was gifted with a few days of really sinking into my pregnancy. it’s been so crazy over here that i haven’t felt sincerely nurtured in all the ways that i envisioned i would be for my first pregnancy – it’s been a tender spot for me throughout these 31 weeks. and so it was pure bliss to let everything else in my life go and just simply be with friends and with my belly for a whole 5 days. there were belly kisses, all sorts of baby talk, pregnancy talk, and one very sweet blessing that had my tears spilling in gratitude.
what i’m learning is that i am mothered by so many people and friends in my life and that i soak in these moments as my favorite moments. i can’t seem to get enough nurturing and mothering lately – there is some part of me that deeply and tenderly wants to be cared for in this way. this is a new thing for me and i’m trying to be present for these offerings instead of carelessly letting them go. i’m very very good at taking care of myself, but not so great at letting others take care of me. i can’t help but wonder if my instinctual longing for being mothered/nurtured these days is preparing me for being a mama myself.
whatever the case, i’m so grateful for the knowing that i was meant for this journey. that i’m ready for it. that we’re ready for it. that this is all because of true love.
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ps: big thanks to The Creative Connection for the feature today on their blog. for those of you looking to attend a creative retreat, you don’t want to miss this one later this year. i won’t be attending because of my due date, but i’ll be there next year for sure!
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