soup of feelings

while playing around with my blog today, i accidentally deleted all of my sidebar links to blogging friends. another computer mistake. that makes 2 this summer. like any treasured collection, it took awhile to build and it will take awhile to rebuild.

i’m feeling a bit reflective this evening. the move, the new city, the new people, all these changes. all exciting, emotional, and very distracting adventures for me. now the dust is starting to settle and i’m sitting here, trying to be still and quiet, but still feeling pulled in a million directions. i’m not even sure where to start in the mornings. i think i may be missing some semblance of a routine. i do feel, though, a general sense of direction. that at least remains clear, but the small and many steps leading in that direction are layered and time consuming.

i came across this today:
“When you are on your path, and it is truly your path, doors will open for you where there were no doors for someone else.” – Joseph Campbell
oh god, i hope this is true. it gives me great comfort.

i also struggle, almost daily, between feeling upbeat about the new life here, but saddened by it, too. gratitude for the abundance in my life, but selfishness for having that abundance while much of the world is suffering and the general sense that i should be doing more. more to raise awareness. more to educate myself. more to help problem solve. i guess i’m missing a bit of my social work life? 2 months without working with the sick and the poor, and i’m already feeling like i need to get back in the trenches!