i am learning to accept the haphazard patterns of my life lately. the feeling ok and light one day, and bluesy the next. the thrills. the disappointments. the arrivals and departure of john and inspiration. it’s hard to explain, this feeling of gratitude that everything is raw and beautiful, yet it is often accompanied with a longing. the hard parts feel beautifully hard and the lessons are everywhere. i find myself stuck in the thoughts of everything, the meaning of everything, the everything of everything. yet, i feel light, too, like none of this really matters. i am finding my way, sometimes feeling quite fluid and peaceful, sometimes wrestling with stubbornness. i have a firm grasp of what is truly meaningful and important, yet i still find myself getting stuck sometimes in the restlessness of the day to day.
lately, i have yearnings to travel, to wander italy in my flip-flops, in the arms of wanderlust. but then i also have yearnings to nest, in a home, with john, with a studio, in oregon. a life in transition. oh, the ups and downs of it all. i am trying, with all of my might, to not fight it – to just let it all come and go and pass on by while firmly rooting myself in my dreams and in my vision for the day.
what a perfect expression of the struggle of balancing in life between the wonderful day and the bluesy day and the knowledge that neither will stay and yet the never ending belief (at least for me) that it will steady out but it doesn’t because it’s not supposed to and so to be with it and roll and you captured all that here so perfectly.
~bluepoppy
To echo what others have said~ this is such a beautiful post. And you’re not alone! I can completely relate to everything you said here. Thank you for sharing it!
so cute!
i love how beautifully you’ve articulated your thoughts…i think so many of us can relate on some level to how you are feeling 😉
xo
k
Hi–found you through SPC 😉
I can identify with your feelings! I am experiencing tremendous wanderlust yet I so badly want to feel nestled here at home, creating, playing. I guess I will be able to do both if I just regularly schedule a little r&r every month–all it really takes is an overnight trip sometimes, or just a walk in the city.
what a wonderfully beautiful post. I’ve felt the same, but with three kids it’s easy to forget to take the time…
i am feeling you on the traveling…look at my blog and then click on mike! in italy. if that doesn’t inspire you to go to italy, i don’t know what will!!! love you!! xoxo- Maya