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🌈 I keep hearing this saying that goes somethin 🌈 I keep hearing this saying that goes something like this: The first third of our lives is about learning, the second is about earning, and the third is about returning. The returning part struck a chord with me. When I looked it up, it turns out it’s a financial thing — the returning is about giving back, investing in others, making a lasting impact. And while that’s a beautiful sentiment, I can’t help but think of the returning a little differently.

🌳 As I walk deeper into the midlife forest, I keep feeling this pull to go back — not to stay there, but to bring forward the parts of me that got tucked away in the hustle of earning and striving and building a life.

💖 What if the third third is about giving back to ourselves?? About taking stock of what we loved as young people, what made us feel electric and alive, letting those things matter again, letting ourselves experience them again.

🌀 What if it’s about returning to the essence of who we are beneath the roles, the titles, the responsibilities? The girl who got lost in books for hours. The one who wore mismatched clothes because she didn’t care what anyone thought. The one who didn’t overthink her art but just made it, mess and all.

☁️ Maybe it’s about making space for the things that make us feel like ourselves again — painting with no agenda, saying yes to spontaneous adventures, creating more room to breathe.

🌸 I don’t have it all figured out, but lately, I find myself returning to all the old faves from my youth — thrifting, journaling, reading books, talking on the phone with my friends. And it feels just right. Perfectly right. Like, THERE I AM.

✨ So maybe the returning is about giving ourselves back to ourselves. The spaciousness. The freedom. The art. The life we get to live now. Simple. Carefree. Yes, please. I’m am loving what is unfolding as I age. It feels so so good, yall. 

Tell me one thing you love about getting older in the comments. I’d love to know! 

PS: weekly creative playdates start THIS WEEK! Link in my bio or simply comment “playdate” and I’ll DM you! 

Image of me by @kimkellyphotojax
🎉 I’m turning 50 soon, and it feels like a bi 🎉 I’m turning 50 soon, and it feels like a big one. It’s like stepping into a wider, more open version of myself. And with that widening comes a certain clarity about what I truly want. It feels liberating. 

✨ As my birthday approaches (June 20th!), I’ve felt a nudge to be really specific about how I want to cross this threshold.

💌 So, I did something that felt both vulnerable and deeply right: I asked a handful of friends for what I wanted.

📬 I sent them a message, letting them know that for my 50th birthday, I wanted to be surrounded by their love in the form of their favorite things — books, beauty products, a favorite tea or magazine — anything that brings them joy. I also asked them to tuck in a photograph of us together and a love letter with their reflections, wishes for me, or a memory or two. 

🕯️ My idea was to create a sort of 50th birthday altar that I could keep up, a space that would remind me of the people who love me, who are holding the space for this new season of becoming.

🌊 After pressing send, a wave of vulnerability washed over me, like I’d just exposed a soft, unguarded part of myself. What if my needs are too much? What if they think I’m being dramatic?

💫 But then the replies started rolling in. Yes, yes, yes. Of course, yes. And with each response, I felt myself softening into this truth: Asking for what we need isn’t about being demanding or selfish. It’s about letting people in, letting them love us in the ways we most crave. It’s about creating the experiences we long for, instead of waiting for them to just happen.

🎁 And maybe that’s the gift of turning 50 — the permission to go deeper in the space of asking, opening, allowing. 

🥂 So, here’s to 50. I’m so ready.

PS: How have you marked important, milestone, birthdays? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments.
First, thank you so much for all the love re #lulu First, thank you so much for all the love re #lulubutterbutterbean. We are doing better, and our hearts are mending. She was a once in a lifetime dog, and I’m feeling grateful to have had her a part of our family for so long.

Before Lulu died, I had started to dive back into painting. Big. Messy. Abstract(ish) paintings.

I pulled out a few large canvases and set them up in my studio. It felt so good to unleash colors. To get my hands messy. To move energy through paint.

And since losing Lulu, it’s been a daily touchpoint to nourish and play.

Which brings me to my newest offering — something I’ve been dreaming up for a while now, and I’d love for you to be part of.

It’s born from the intention of wanting to show up for my own creative practice, but to do it in the good company of others who want to show up for theirs, too. Like a paint-a-long or create-a-long — a weekly meetup where we gather, side by side, and simply work on our creative projects together.

I’m calling it Creative Playdates: 12 Weeks Of Art & Togetherness. 

Come for all the weeks. Or come for just a few.  Either way, YOU are invited.

And truly, nothing would make me happier than filling the Zoom room with the lighthearted, joy-filled energy of women unleashing their creative sparks — together.

If you’re craving creative companionship, a little structure without pressure, and a joyful space to show up for your art, Creative Playdates is for you. I can’t wait! 

Comment “playdate” and I’ll send you all the details OR check the link in my bio for more, too. 

Everyone who signs up also gets 25% off all my other courses as a little bonus, too :)
Years ago I painted #lulubutterbutterbean. I had t Years ago I painted #lulubutterbutterbean. I had this painted version of her turned into a stuffed animal via an online service that turns kid art into stuffies. Anyway, when #trueelioorlando and I unboxed this stuffie, we giggled for days about how the makers interpreted her. That mustache! But then there was the wing they gave her. And the heart charm. 

Gosh, we are so very heartbroken. I’ve been sleeping with this hilarious Lulu stuffie this week and it’s been a little comfort in the sea of sadness. I think i need more of her in stuffie form. 

Thank you for your love. So many of you were hanging with me here on IG when we brought her home a decade ago. Your words and memories have been a gift. 🙏🏼🌈💔

Big love, Kelly Rae
It is with so much sorrow that I share the heartbr It is with so much sorrow that I share the heartbreaking news that our beloved #lulubutterbutterbean passed away this week. John and I were both with her, holding her and loving her through her transition. We are devastated. I wonder if I’ll ever stop crying.

She was almost 10 and truly the furbaby love of my life — my pet soulmate in the form of a squishy, stubborn, joyful, loud, hilarious English Bulldog who never left our side. Waking up without her this morning felt unbearable.

I feel deeply grateful for every single year we had with her. She was endlessly chill, full of personality, and made instant best friends with every human she met. I miss her snuggles, insistance on belly rubs, and her hilarious snorts that filled our home with so much joy.

She came to me in a dream last night. My hope is that she’ll keep visiting — in dreams, in signs, in quiet moments — as I slowly figure out how to live without her.

Rest easy, sweet girl. We love you forever.
#lulubutterbutterbean
Feeling the pull to make some big loose pieces. Go Feeling the pull to make some big loose pieces. Got out the paints and brushes and canvases and my willingness to be awkward and wobbly. It been a long while since I’ve painted big! I started with some warm layers. Yay!

I’m feeling on the edge of change over here. I’m meandering toward my whispers to go all the way back to the basics: painting  and writing. And so that’s what I’m doing. A little rusty but feeling hopeful. 

Speaking of writing, anyone here on Substack? I started mine this weekend. I miss connection and stories. You too? Let’s find one another over there. 🌈💕

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About Kelly Rae

Before I picked up my first paintbrush at the age of 30, I was a medical social worker. Playing with paint changed everything.

Now, I’m an artist and Possibilitarian who helps women explore their creativity and nourish their souls.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME >

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