Many months after I became a mom, I  was still pining after my pre-pregnancy clothes that were still hanging in my closet. It felt like my clothes were waiting for me to lose the weight. Eventually, I was feeling a deep sense of disappointment, every single day, when it came to getting dressed. I missed my old clothes, my old body, and I was fumbling with trying to clothe my new shape.

Before I knew it, I had a drawer full of funky tights that hadn’t seen the light of day in a year. The cute skirts and dresses I once adored and claimed as part of my creative style went MIA from my daily outfits. Part of what weighed heavily on my heart was never losing the baby weight and not fitting into my clothes. And part of it was not showing up for myself every day in a way that felt intentional, and conscious, despite the changes in my body.

This happens to so many of us. For some, it’s gaining weight and not fitting into our beloved clothes. For some, it’s starting a new job that requires more ‘professional’ attire. For some, it’s a big life transition that somehow makes our clothes no longer feel like us. Either way, we lose bits of ourselves, not realizing that our clothes are one piece of the puzzle of being who we want to be.

How a pair of boots reminded me who I was

During this phase of feeling like I’d lost myself, I spotted a pair of gorgeous artisan embroi-dered cowgirl boots. They seemed to call out to me, “Hey Kelly Rae, THIS is who you are. WEAR YOUR JOY!” I not only bought those boots, and started my own personal Wear Your Joy practice, but I wrote a love letter to them because I quickly realized that it wasn’t about the actual boots, but about what they represented to me. They were like a postcard from my former self, reminding me that I could still integrate joy into my wardrobe.

This is the journal entry I wrote on June 13th, 2011:

These boots reached all the way through the you-don’t-need-another-pair-of-cowgirl-boots and the they-are-too-expensive and the who-do-you-think-you-are gremlins and traveled directly to a piece of me that said, YES. I love them. And more importantly, they affirm a few of the things I believe with my whole self:

 

* That taking chances + embracing adventure brings joy. These boots scream adventure.
* That we become more of ourselves when we purchase and surround ourselves only with things that we are absolutely in love with. This is true for house decor, clothing, and on and on. 
* That what you loved as a child usually still rings true today and that play is oh
so important.
* That a YEE-HAW every now and again is totally necessary
* That freedom feels like the releasing of heart, of ideas, of dreams, of expression, of wearing artisan cowgirl boots.
* That you can still rock these boots while being a thirty something year old mom who barely has time to get dressed

That’s when I knew I was onto something

(me, in 2011 when I began the WYJ practice)

Something began to shift for me internally in a new way. I was reminded how nothing in this life is superficial, and that when our hearts speak, we gotta listen. We just never know where it will take us.

In this case, it took me to something bigger – it’s not about boots or pairing together perfect outfits.

It’s about wearing our joy.

I began to get excited about getting dressed in the morning. What jeans could I pair with these boots? What skirt could I pull out of the depths of the closet that I haven’t seen in forever? What TIGHTS would look amazing with these boots?

(me, in 2011 when I began the WYJ practice)

Before I knew it, I started to  enJOY the practice of getting dressed in the morning with intention. Do I love it? Great, then it goes on my skin. Do I not love it? Then it doesn’t go on my body.

My self talk started to move from “what do I want to look like?” to “how do I want to feel?”. And it also moved from “I’ll never lose the weight” to “I have big gratitude for this healthy body and how can I celebrate its creative spirit and expression today?”.

It’s not about putting together perfect outfits. It’s about wearing our joy.

(Print available here)

And so I kept going…creating time in the morning to embrace my new routine of being intentional and conscious about what I was choosing to wear. Ultimately, I was surprised by how fun it was.

I was also surprised at the undercurrent of what was really going on – how this all started with the purchase of a pair of cowgirl boots and how honoring that small whisper in myself gently led me back home to that place where inherent creativity and joy lived. This practice was taking me back to a place where I got to play again; a place built on conscious choices – and a place where I could remember WHO I was and wanted to be.

Take a few moments to answer the following questions in your journal. The goal? To engage your heart and begin to integrate all that you’re discovering.

In addition to any activities suggested in today’s lesson, please be sure to carve out some time each day for the following exercises, especially number 1 and 2. They will help cultivate and nourish your joy-wearing practice. And, your heart will thank you!