still totally exhausted over here, but it’s happy exhaustion.
i did have some small tears last nite as i left the last of my series of neurology appts + tests. after weeks and weeks of testing and appts, i still haven’t any clear answers. the good news is that whatever is happening to me is most likely not a nerve issue. this is fantastic news, and i’m very grateful. the bad news is that my numbness + other symptoms go unexplained and i may have to rest with this knowing for a bit and perhaps accept that it may never go explained. i’ve decided to live my life as usual and do my best. that’s really all i can do. i will likely never run again and this is where my tears came from. running was one of the most important things i’ve ever done in my entire life.
in happy news, i am gearing up for squam and couldn’t be more excited about it. for those of you in the boston area, you should consider coming out to the squam art fair next week. more info here!
also, i’d like to share that mati and i are still taking registrations for our creative retreat in italy. it’s going to be wonderful. so, if you are a bit spontaneous like me, it’s not to late to come!
some other tidbits:
i’m loving everything about jesse reno. omg.
wrap-up africa has launched. so touched by this.
katrina dreamer has me totally fascinated right now.
as does this song. (promise you’ll listen to the whole thing).
and this one.
and jen lemen sent over this incredible video of one of the most inspiring 10yr olds i’ve ever seen.
one more thing: here i am about to pee my pants in laughter + wig. love this photo as it takes me back to oregon in a heartbeat.
i also want to say a HUGE thank you to holly over at decor8. she posted the most lovely and meaningful post about Taking Flight yesterday where she encourages us all to tell our story and to spread our wings, no matter where we are in our journeys. head on over there if you’d like to be included a book giveaway (ends on fri)!
and i can’t say it enough: you guys are awesome. you’re totally getting the purpose of this book which was to share my creative journey in a conversation with you, to blend heart + soul with techniques, to encourage, to inspire, to be brave in our story telling, to be brave in our learning, to be brave in our stumbles, in our joys, and in our little tiny steps that lead to success. i knew you’d get it. and you are. thank you.
hello lovely kelly rae. i just wanted to say that i LOVE jesse reno’s work, thank you for sharing. wow. and i just ordered your book. and i hope you are doing well, well, well. xoxo, k.
Kelly,
I have your book on the way to me from Amazon. I’m so looking forward to receiving it. I’ve heard wonderful things…
I live with chronic illness and would be happy to chat with you off line about how to go about making sure you get to the root of the problem. Also, my hubby is a neurologist and maybe we can recommend a doc in your area to help.
Hang in there.
Fran
I found your book at our local Little Professor today and it is now in my happy possession. What a wonderful job, I am very eager to read and learn from what you’ve shared.
HI Kelly…I have experienced the wings that running can inpsire and so will hold this sadness with you and remember your spirit and health in my prayers. Your book has truly come at a pivotal time in my life. If is inspired me and added further gentle confirmation of a calling I have heard in my soul and one of several paths to take my creative passions. I shared a little bit about it on my blog today if you’d like to peek.
Take good Care
Lani
I got your book today signed and with the gorgeous print!! It’s so lovely and I cannot wait to dig in to the book! Thank you!!!
(I loved being called a creative gal. :D)
P.S. I hope the doctors keep on top of things and that you’re feeling much better. xo
Your book has arrived in Paris! Hooray! Thank you so much – already I’ve gotten lost in your book, ignoring some pressing writing projects. Er, ahem…And I’ve written a little post about you and your book. Hope you have a wonderful time at Squam. xo
Kelly, I am new to your blog and so unfamiliar with your helath issues, but your comment about possibly never running again really touched me, as I’m in a similar position to you at the moment with my own physical issues. My heart goes out to you, but I see your faith and courage in saying that you will continue to live as you can. I’ve learnt through my injury that it really is a process of one day at a time, of being aware of our capabilities as much as out limitations, and squeezing every drop of life out of everything that is put before us. In reading your blog, and those of other amazing women out there in blog land, the ‘artist’ in me has stirred, after having layed dormant for many years, and I have a new spirit about approaching that part of myself, which has been buried under self-doubt and fear of failure over many years. Your words, and those I’ve been led to through your blog and other blogs, have encouraged me to explore that ‘old’ self, to address it in my daily life, and I appreciate your honesty and open-ness, your willingness to share your self with the big wide world. I’m praying for you as you face these issues in your life, and again am grateful for you putting your heart out there!!!
I came here to just let you know I’m feeling love for you at the moment – so much goodness and excitement about your book, at the same time as you come to terms with things happening in your body that can’t yet be explained. I really loved what Alexa said about bridges. Running was a bridge into a whole new life for me as well, and I haven’t been able to run since March and it has been a slow and challenging process to accept that I may never be able to again. But with your open, curious spirit I know you will keep finding bridges to take you forward in your adventure.
Got my book. Genius, love it, connected immediately. I’m devouring it. Thanks! You are way beyond talented and inspirational.
Hugs,
P
Kelly Rae
You have been and continue to be such an inspiration to me. Through this difficult as well as joyous time you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you get answers to the questions soon. Just keep pushing through, you are an amazing gentle spirit, and no matter what comes your way you will handle it with beauty and grace, as you do everything else. Sending you love and hugs
Lina
kelly, the book is genious, beauty, magic. I loved it.
Congratulations on the book, Kelly! So sorry that your health worries still linger on – but relieved also that you haven’t had any of the diagnoses that you feared. Such a shame to have this shadowing the joyous time of your book coming into the world, but I guess life is like that. Peace and all good things,
Kelly
Kelly, I hope you can run again one day soon. I’m praying for you.
xox,
Linnea
Kelly my heart goes out to you! I want you to know you are an inspiration!
Hi Kelly,
I can feel for you as i have had the same test (for ms to be ruled out) at the neurologist. It sure is a rollacoaster, insn’t it?
I still have to undertake a VEP and a SEPP …
The same symptoms can be caused by:
*lack of B12 (vitamin)
*slow thyroid gland.
*hyperventilation
The first 2 can be seen through a blood test. Maybe you already now this, but i just wanted to tell you to be sure. These things can be rather easily controlled by medicines.
i hope you’ll have answers soon!
(and feel better)
I made a pit stop at the art/craft store on the way home from work last night. I just had to get Clear Gesso (I too had no idea it existed!), and I wanted some Pitt Artist Pens, but they didn’t have any so I settled for something else for now. I’ve been trying to paint in tiny places, when the pens would work so, so much better! Total Ah-ha moment. lol I also bought a brayer.
Thank you a million times for the great techniques that accompany the inspiration I continue to find in this book. I can randomly open it to any page and find something I didn’t see before or didn’t read before.
Have a possibility filled day!
xo,
Carmen
I can so relate to not being able to do those things we loved when our bodies are ill or have changed in ways irreparable. The not knowing if/when I might become more ill is a true test of faith for me, and the reason I’m learning that life is truly just one day at a time.
You’re never alone on your journey, little sister.
Kelly…tell me you’ve been screened for MS. I’m sorry to ask as I am a fairly new reader..but the numbness sounded like that should be ruled out.
Hugs! Sorry for the illness no matter what it is. Its No fun being sick.
You are an incredibly creative and resourceful woman tho. Don’t lose hope!
I can hear how sad you are about not being able to run, Kelly … From reading the first part of your book, it seems as if it was a bridge which took you from where you were then, into where you are now. I’m thinking about bridges, and wondering if perhaps we can’t stand on them forever, but have to step off them into the next part of the journey. And hoping that you will be able to connect with something else deep down which gave what the running did … Thinking of you as you grieve, alexa
I just got your book in the mail Kelly 🙂 thank you once again for sharing your journey, can’t wait to read it now after dinner 😉
take care always,