growth

 

i have found so much support online. and i truly believe that if i wasn’t encouraged in this space in the early years when i first discovered art, that i wouldn’t have pushed myself to keep going to see where this creative wave could take me. and of course this wave has been steady, surprising, and the thrill of lifetime. i will never forget these last many years. never. i have so many people to thank for holding me afloat, for encouraging me to say yes, to say no when needed, to speak my truth all along the way. there have been many decisions on the back end and for the most part, i’m really proud of the choices i’ve made these last few years, even when big mistakes were made.
one of my biggest lessons in all of it has been to surround myself with people who haven’t been afraid to celebrate with me, who have allowed me to be a big as i can be without judgement, without competition, without questions. i’m not talking “big” in a commercial success way, but big in a you can totally create a great life for yourself way and you actually deserve that life way and you can trust your capacity and expansiveness way and most importantly, you can totally answer to love way. because, in the end, it’s not the commercial success that matters, it’s that my soul pieces are in good working order. that’s the kind of big i can invite into my life. i can’t tell you how this one lesson has broadened not only my sense of self, spirituality, but also my sense of community.
my saddest moments as i made my way into success have been when i felt deflated by those i thought wanted the best for me, by those who didn’t have the capacity to truly celebrate with me, by those, who for whatever reasons, felt triggered by my happiness. the hard truth is that i’ve been there. i’ve been that person, who for a variety of reasons, didn’t have the ability to celebrate with my friends when they called to share big news (they bought a house! they were pregnant! they just landed the best job in the world!). i was really really good at listening and counseling when someone needed me to comfort them, but i failed miserably when someone needed me to celebrate with them, to stand in that big space with them, to give them permission to keeping pushing the boundaries of their horizon. now that i’m on the other side of that dynamic, i can see so clearly why i failed in those moments. it was because i didn’t have the faith that i would one day find myself in a better situation. it was because i felt stuck. because i felt jealous. because i was being totally self consumed and selfish.
what i didn’t know then but that i certainly know now is this: had i just leaned into the celebration with them, had i just allowed myself to be in those moments of bigness with them, then i would have not only been the receiver of so much joy, but i would have invited that same energy into my own life and i would have caught a glimpse of what could be possible for my own life. and most importantly, i would have connected more to those precious friends in my life who so deeply wanted to be seen and honored.
hindsight is 20/20. i’ve learned so much on this creative journey. i wouldn’t trade it for the world. it’s doesn’t have to be about competition. or jealousy. or inadequacy. it’s about expanding our capacities to include connection at every turn and it’s about practicing what it means to be brave in love. we are all meant to be big.

Hi, I'm Kelly Rae Roberts!

Before I picked up my first paintbrush at the age of 30, I was a medical social worker. I followed my whispers and started playing with paint and everything changed.

Now I’m a full-time artist, author and Possibilitarian, who helps women explore and nourish their creative souls.

Don't want to miss a post?

Get my LATEST POSTS sent to your inbox.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Recent PostsRecent Posts Flower

New Print: Your Knowing

New Print: Your Knowing

SHOP THIS PRINT Trust your inner knowing. Your voice, those whispers that call to you, are a divine reflection of your purpose here. Your knowingness is whole, complete, and always always your most accurate heart compass. Allow it to guide you. You can trust its...

read more
NEW Art: The Presence of Wonder

NEW Art: The Presence of Wonder

(Shop new prints here) "Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder." -E.B. White This year I've been exploring different ways of mark making on the canvas. It's been SUCH a deep dive into shaking up my creative process, something I think all of us creative...

read more
A creative heart/life update

A creative heart/life update

I went to Portland couple of weeks ago and had an experience that felt like a mixture of grief, awakening, and creative bursts all at once. Intense, illuminating, and ultimately really really GOOD. First, the grief. It's been so long since I've been back and I wasn't...

read more

Explore the Blog Categories