“remember” – on canvas
whenever i go to an event like squam, i find myself wrapped in an experience that seems so far from my life, but also so important, so rooted in community and and encouragement. the whole world seems to disappear, if only for a few days of bliss and creativity. it’s not always an easy time, but these experiences are important and life enriching in ways that challenge me to grow in every way imaginable – in spirit, in courage, in art life, in social life, and on an on.
but arriving home is always a tender time for me. i haven’t quite figured out a graceful pattern of re-entry into everyday life – especially when all the people you’ve shared the experience with have also wandered back into their own homes, lives and demands. it happens every time i come home from time spent with people who get me in every way. as the days move farther from the experience, i inevitably over think the outside of the experience – the doubts of was i good enough, did everyone like me, have i been found out? the gremlins seem to creep their way in for a couple of days until i remember to absorb the inside of the experience, the center of all the goodness that was felt – to keep it close and to remember. i’ve come to accept this part of the circle, the turning and processing of all the gems along the way until they sparkle from a well loved, well worn experience.
and then i’ll have a day like today that helps to settle all that going back and forth – a day that sets me back on course into the bliss of my everyday life. a day with a friend, in the car, in the city, in an urban cafe, walking the sidewalks, meeting new people, listening to music, feeling inspired, and wanting more. i am reminded that the week before at art camp was indeed real, that it was indeed magic, but i’m also reminded that my life feels really good when it’s at home, too – that it’s entirely possible to keep the magic alive. that all the connecting, the fragile moments, the leaping into new parts of myself still lead me back home to john, to my dreams, to all that is here (and beyond) waiting for me.
and so it seems i’ve made the re-entry. just as in the the days preceding flight, the landing after flight is a bit tricky, too. but it all matters.
and for all of you who are still re-entering life after squam, know this: it’s all normal. it’s all expected. you are not alone. it was real. hold onto the magic. and keep leaping and skipping and dancing your way through.