love thursday

(manaznita beach bonfire. photo by jen gray)

love thursday is looking thru my favorite photos from last week’s trip (there are soo many). it’s telling the stories to my husband who wants to know all the details. it’s listening to, and watching this gorgeous video of it unfolding. it’s reading what i wrote in my journal while i was there: i feel sucker punched with truth of who i am and where i belong.

today, in this moment, love thursday is looking ahead while treasuring the past. i’m a memories and dreams kind of girl – memories of what has passed + dreams for the future. these are both things i can root myself in, even in the present. that’s just how i’ve always been.

love thursday is letting the armor fall so that the connection i want to feel for my life can fully exist. brene taught me this. and i won’t ever forget it (she’s one smart lady, that one). i learned that if we exist from a perspective of waiting for the shoe to drop (as i wrote about recently), then we’ve armored ourselves against feeling deeply connected to our lives as they evolve, change, and grow. i’m also learning that i can’t exist from the perspective of the impostor syndrome if i ever want to feel how people see me (and how i should see myself). i’ve been wondering why i don’t quite believe people when they compliment me, my art, my life – it’s because i’ve struggled (on some level) with the notion that perhaps i’ve fooled them into thinking i’m someone i’m not. but the truth is is that i got a glimpse of who i am before i left for oregon and it was so deeply confirmed once i was there. i was ready for it, and now i’ve got it. thank you, world. no more armor or impostor syndrome. i am who i am. i see it now. i’m not afraid.

on a lighter note, here is some love inside mati rose’s coffee cup 🙂

more love thursday goodness here.