(NEW art, available here)
Self-compassion changes everything
When we’re utterly overwhelmed
When we think we’re a burden (we’re not)
When we’ve gained 10 pounds
When we missed a birthday
When we’re sick, again
When we could have done more
When we worry all the time
When we look in the mirror
When we’re grieving and everything is upside down
When we eat too much or too little
When we overwork ourselves
When we compare ourselves to others
When we are full of regret
When we are tender and vulnerable
When we are full of rage
When we’re in pain
Self-Compassion changes everything.
(Sticker from my art shop, available here)
I’ve been dealing with some health stuff over here, including months and months of pain in my neck and back. I won’t go into detail, but suffice to say it’s extremely disruptive to my sleeping and waking hours. Turns out I have post-traumatic multilevel disc degeneration disease, total loss of neck curvature, and osteoarthritis. All of this is due to a gymnastic injury that happened thirty years ago. It is not reversible. At the same time, I’ve learned I have some pretty intense digestion/leaky gut issues that will take many months to heal, plus lots of allergens (rice, gluten, dairy, yeast, and more) that have been creating autoimmune responses for a long long time.
I have begun all sorts of healing from food changes to herbs to physical therapy and so much more. Feels a bit like part-time job and a complete lifestyle overhaul. I have cried many times, felt depleted, weak, and totally overwhelmed. I have also felt incredibly supported by friends and family. I have noticed how just the right practitioners have dropped into my life to help me find my way along this new path. I have deep knowing and trust that I am in this human body to experience all of this in perfect and divine timing. I know the lessons here on are deep. There is grief to be spilled. There are new narratives to be told. There is a lot of letting go to be done. There is growing up to do. There is an opportunity here for my spirit to be brave in sadness, brave in healing.
As I make my way through, I’ve invited The Spirit of Self-Compassion to be my guide. To remind me that I am good. That this work to heal is the kindest thing I can do for my body. That I can let the rest go, including the long list of work to-do’s, holiday to-do’s and more. Ultimately, Self-Compassion reminds me to trust that all of this will lead me toward the next breadcrumb trail along my Possibilitarian life.
Sending much love, Kelly Rae