some stuff

a trait: my family and friends tell me i’m bossy. i can remember playing with my friends when i was a kid and my mom telling me, “don’t be so bossy.” but i think of it more as “directing.” i like to direct, delegate, and i like to think i’m polite about it, but every now and again john will remind me that i’m on the edge of bossiness. i can’t help it. i guess i’m bossy. i think social work has taught me how to be compassionate and bossy at the same time – it’s goes with the whole advocacy piece, i suppose.

shoes: i am not a heel girl, but last year i took a leap and bought a pair of cute brown shoes with the an itsy bitsy heel. and i love wearing boots, especially my brown “jean boots” from jcrew that i splurged on years ago.

love: i had a major crush on my husband months before we started dating. i was dating someone else at the time, but my crush on john was huge. huge. you know how your relationships go in and out of mushy, love phases? well, we are in a major lovey dovey phase right now. i love these phases. oddly enough, as i write this there is a couple screaming at one another on the street below. my goodness.

downtime: i have been learning to rest lately. i even took a nap today, something rare for me. i have several books on my bedside table that i’ve been dabbling in these last couple of weeks. refuge, a journal of a solitude, listening to your life, and why i wake early. i love snuggling in with a good book, a cup of tea, and a blanket.

mood: tonite i am feeling a mixture. i think i’ve been purposely trying to cool it a bit. cool it with any intensity of emotion, and just really working hard to be in the details of whatever given moment i’m in, but without trying too hard. does that make sense? perhaps this has been why i’ve been feeling more restful, not at odds with myself, my surroundings, my job, deadlines, the to-do list, this city, or really anything. i haven’t felt the struggle much at all, but rather i feel calm. and there is something almost void about feeling calm. there’s not much attached to it, making it what it is i suppose. just calm.

music: weepies, catpower, ani difranco

outside: john and i went for a long hike today in the redwood regional forrest. it made me miss our hikes in oregon where i took the scent of the trees and the million shades of green for granted. we’ve also been walking around lake merritt, almost daily. the weather could not be more perfect. sunny and cold. i’ve been bundling up in my down jacket which i call my “puff daddy jacket,” gloves, hat, and a scarf. it’s that cold here in california. love it.

what’s coming up:i feel so out of touch in this medium, maybe because i’m not organized with it. i think i may give bloglines a try. anybody out there use this? after a long conversation with my friend liz, i’m starting to really look forward to artfest 2007. we are roommates this year, and it will be such fun to see her and to be back home in the northwest again, not to mention all the artmaking. oh my.

gratitude: easily packaged protein from trader joe’s. new slippers from ll bean (the best ever). the feeling of possibility. napping with my dog. sunlight that floods our apt.