the best part of the day was receiving a sweet card from liz with a little magnet that read “we must be the change we want to see in the world.” i love gandhi and i love that quote. it is true. so i will work on being the change i want to see in the world. which for me would translate to less apathy, more action. less cynicism, more hopefulness. less worry, more dreams. more myself.
i haven’t been able to run since saturday. i’m having a hard time adjusting to a schedule not involving running 4x/week with my friends. i wonder if i’ll be able to maintain another activity, like swimming, without their support and without someone to hold me accountable. i did go to a yoga class last week and it kicked my ass. now i know why yoga enthusiasts are so buff and toned. i couldn’t even make it through the hour. i had to leave at 30 minutes! i can’t believe that i can run a half marathon, but i can’t even make it through an hour long power yoga class. now i’m feeling determined to work up to that level. i suppose it’ll give me something to conquer while i’m waiting for my knee to heal. but i think i’d rather be running.
i don’t think i’m enjoying having a student as much as i think i should. i think if she were totally green, had never been a social worker before in the medical setting, if she were fresh out of school, then i’d enjoy it more. but my student is a full-on woman. she is 50 years old with all sorts of life experience and it’s just hard for me to think that i could teach her something. i’m feeling inadequate. i want to be a good steward of the social work profession and i want her to get something out of this experience, but i’m not sure if i am the best match for her. there is no getting out of it now. i’m committed to this and to her. i’m going to have to push through my feelings and make this a positive experience for both of us.
you are sweet.
i had the student again today and i feel so much better about the whole thing. and you’re right. one universal truth is we all have something to learn from one another. i feel better about my role. it’s just hasn’t been so easy of a transition for me to be someone’s mentor. but i’m learning and it’s good for me. thank you for your sweetness, clare. can’t wait to see you in a couple of weeks in nyc!
Kelly, we all have a lot to learn from each other. I teach children that are 4 and 5 years old and I learn from them so don’t be so hard on yourself. Maybe she is learning from your ability to be open, from your empathy, from your ability to see humor in situations that others don’t. You may not be teaching her textbook stuff but I’m sure you are teaching her in your own way.
love you,
Clare xox