this year john and i are totally and fully decorating for the holidays. maybe it’s because it’s baby true’s first christmas. maybe it’s because we finally have a home that feels permanent. maybe it’s because my heart feels the magic more than ever before. whatever the reason, i want white lights everywhere and vintage ornaments and trees and garland and holiday music. so that’s exactly what i’ve been doing the last couple of days: decorating, puttering, shopping at the junk stores for vintage christmas decor, and obsessing over where to put what. it’s been so fun. feeling really inspired and feeling really good to dip back into some creative energy.
in between all of that, we had the loveliest thanksgiving i can remember in recent years. just the three of us. john cooked while true and i hung out. we had a fire all day long. we had christmas classics on all day long. we danced in the living room. we took our time. and even though true woke up the second we finally sat down to enjoy our warm meal, and even though our thanksgiving dinner would be interrupted a gazillion times, we enjoyed every moment. the toasting, the clinking of our glasses, the kisses, the shared stories of what we’re most thankful for. it was awesome.
what i’m learning in this new journey is that i have to pay super close attention to the details and to let my heart and soul get swept away in their tiny beauties. otherwise, i’m annoyed or frustrated or feeling defeated. this is a serious practice and i’m practicing 24/7. the tears are still plentiful, yes indeed. i’m going with it. i’m trying not to judge myself, over analyze, or wonder when i’ll feel totally like myself again (or when the new version of myself will feel familiar). i’m just working hard to trust this experience and lean into the gifts in between all the details. and there are so many gifts.
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