as maternity leave continues, the guest posts from friends continue. today, i’m sharing a bit of andrea scher’s wisdom with you. andrea and i met a few years ago and it was instant chemistry. through the years we’ve lived in the same city, shared a studio space, not lived in the same city, traveled together, visited one another, and we talk on the phone all the time. i nearly screamed my head off when she called one day to tell me she was pregnant and was due just four weeks after me (welcome to the world, nico boon!) yesterday we were on the phone while we both fed our little guys (thank goodness for bluetooth) and i just loved the sweetness of that.
the other day i was telling andrea about my heart widening experience (the one i wrote about in yesterday’s post). it reminded her of something she wrote awhile back and so she read it to me over the phone (she does that often – reads things to me over the phone that leave me inspired). i wanted to share that piece with you guys today. andrea has a great gift for story telling as many of you already know from her blog – wise, and insightful. and also really hilarious.
by the way, you can join andrea and jen lemen for the next session of Mondo Beyondo in January- an online class about dreaming big. you guys might remember my talking (and gushing) about the time i took this class and it changed my life. it can change yours too:)
okay, now for andrea’s post…..
This morning at Ben’s preschool, as we waited in the play yard for his classroom to open, one of his pals arrived. Eloise ran over, all smiles, and Ben said to her, “I’m playing daddy cheetah, the fastest animal in the world!” She responded with an even bigger grin, “What? You were sad I wasn’t here earlier to play with you?”
We live In a world where we are constantly making assumptions about what others think of us. Even when we hear what they are saying, we make assumptions about what they mean when they say x, y and z. As adults, unlike Eloise, we usually assume the worst! For example, lately, when I check my inbox, my stomach tightens when I see a subject line about a jewelry order. Oh great… another complaint I bet! Someone else’s jewelry didn’t arrive on time! The irony is that nine times out of 10, the person is simply thanking me and letting me know how happy their loved one is. I can barely take in the goodness of this news because I am still stuck in my defensive mode. At best I feel relief that at least I didn’t blow it again.
We assume the worst to shield ourselves from vulnerability, but the truth is it doesn’t work. And as Brene Brown says in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, when we shield ourselves from vulnerability, we also shield ourselves from true joy, love and connection. Turns out we can’t pick and choose.