Ebb and flow. Some weeks I have an abundance of energy and inspiration to work really hard at my job. Other weeks, I sleep in, lounge around the house, and enjoy the pause. It’s taken me years to be comfortable with the ebb and flow. To give myself permission to do what I love (my work) for as many hours of the day that I can. To let the mama guilt go. To let the myth of balance go. To let inspiration blow my life up in chaos that inevitably feels really satisfying in the end. And then there is the harder permissions to not work at all and just sort of, I dunno, hang around and absorb the ordinariness of the days. I love both. Ebb and the flow.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how the older I get, the more introverted I become. Yet I act as an extrovert in my job. Ebb and flow. The introversion, for me, is about getting quiet, listening to my whispers, and creating enthusiasm about something I’ve come to believe in. The extroversion, for me, is about communicating the enthusiasm. But the introversion comes first. And it requires a lot of this: sitting, quiet, thinking.
Slow Down – print available here
I am so grateful to this home, to this life that we’ve created. Not one day goes by that I don’t bow in gratitude to this most fortunate season.
This is so validating. I am in the same stage, thinking back to the years when I ran and Leslie and aimlessly trying to accomplish multiple tasks simultaneously and be perfect at all of my assignments – administrator at a high school, wife, mother, friend, community member, etc. over the last year I have found peace in the quiet and after a lifetime as an extreme extrovert, truly enjoy the space that is simply me, my reflections, my thoughts & my commitment to just being in that moment. You continually validate my fears & my confidence, my tears & my celebrations and all that creates this multilingual-faceted being that is me living my life. Here’s to the ebb & flow, and the decision to dwell in the waves, the undercurrent, on the edge of the ocean & anywhere in between depending on the tide. . . .
I absolutely feel the same way and you express it perfectly!
Yep – exactly the same for me. I’ve learned not to feel guilty for the relaxing, vegging, and zoning out times. Because the other times – it’s full on creating/working – until I need that “me” time again! It’s a hard thing for me to be the extrovert at shows and fairs and marketing events…I’d rather be in the studio, in my own world. That ebb and flow, I’ve learned, IS my balance. 😉
I feel the same…well said.
Kelly Rae….do you know Miss Mustard Seed? Marian Parsons? You would get along, I think….famously.