today, i asked someone how they were coping with their 2nd cancer diagnosis and its treatment (chemo/radiation). their response? “i show up.” simple. profound. i found myself still with it’s meaning and courage. i don’t think i’ll ever forget it. on the way home, i thought long and hard about it. how do i show up? in my marriage? in my commitments? in my work? in play? in my community? how do i show up? at the end of the day, have i done my best?
lately, it seems that i only have so much time for any given activity. between my day job & my art life, i find narrow amounts of time for the other things in my life that fill me up in ways that i need and want. i find myself making a lot of phone dates with far away family and friends but the conversations are never long enough. i’m having quick lunch dates, quick walking dates, quick fun dates. everything seems short and fast, as if i’m going to run out of time. you can see where the anxious dreaming comes in (the glass of wine did miracles for my sleep last nite, by the way. i’m repeating the same trick tonite). and some things have just been cut out all together (intense exercise, reading, general lounging). i wonder, how in the world to people have kids and juggle it all?
i need a scheduling overhaul. i want to linger a bit more on the phone, in my meetings with friends, in my snuggles with John & Bella. i don’t want to just show up, i mean i really, really want to show up.
ps – i’ve added a place where you can sign up for my mailing list on my sidebar (if you’re interested in receiving a newsletter from time to time regarding art announcements). this is one step towards helping me simplify business life…i’m thinking it’s a good one!