learning to dream

Nov 30, 2005 | Entrepreneurship, Life in Progress, My Creative Practice

so, i’ve been feeling especially vulnerable lately. i don’t know if it’s all the artmaking and putting myself out there more, or even just the thought of all of it has me feeling tangled up on the insides with excitement, mixed in with a little self doubt, eagerness, and the “what next” thought. i’m a sensitive girl.

i’ve made 4 pieces in the last week. all are better than the last and it’s becoming more fluid for me now. i have no idea how a piece will turn out when i sit down to create it, but it’s the process i’m enjoying more than anything. i definitely need to work on getting some balance back in my life, though. i went from running all of the time to barely running at all and just creating and snacking, or skipping meals because so much time has passed and i’ve forgotten to eat. i need to run, AND create, AND eat well, and not have caffeinated hot tea at 7pm which keeps me up until 2am. these latest pieces will be christmas gifts and i really can’t wait to give them away!

and being the organizational freak that i am, i went and bought a really great tackle box to put all my embellishments in. it’s perfect. i spent like 2 hours organizing all my art supplies into the tackle box, and a couple other tupperware bins. it was starting to get a little hairy with supplies taking over every free space in the dining room. so now i’m all organized and mind is free and happy again.

we should here from rhode island in the next 10 days on whether or not they’ve accepted john. we are starting to go to the mail box each day with anticipation and HOPE. besides rhode island, we’re specifically waiting to hear back from a school in CA in hopes of John being offered an interview. there are still applications to finish. with the exception of just one or two, the rest of the applications will be mailed out by dec 15th. then it’s just a waiting game.

i’m so proud of john, i can hardly stand it. this has been an amazing year for both of us. we’ve both learned to just go out and do the things we didn’t initially think we could do and prove to ourselves that we really can do anything. run half marathons. make A’s in organic chemistry. apply to extremely competitive grad school programs. start artmaking. finally form a community of great friends in portland. it’s been, hands down, one of my top 5 favorite years of my life. they say that turning 30 brings you back to you and your authentic self. i don’t know if the timing just happened to work out that way, but it’s true. i know now, more than ever, what i want, what i need, how to ask for those things, and how to dream.

oh, and one of my favorite friends, ali masters, called me tonite to tell me that she is in love. i’ve been waiting for this for her for what seems and feels like years, and i’m beaming even as i write this. it just makes me so happy…

Sending much love,

Show/Hide Comments (2 comments)
  1. Stacy

    I just want to say the 30’s were great, but 40 kicks ass!

  2. britt

    kelly i have goosebumps after reading this. your creativity and sensitivity are what make you so human and so adorable. i wish you and john the best. i am totally there with you supporting someone’s applications and grad school path. i agree about turning 30. i just turned 29 but i don’t get why people think 30 is so bad…i have never felt stronger or more sure of what i want and what is important in life. thank you for sharing these thoughts! your art is amazing.


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I’m Kelly Rae Roberts

Before I picked up my first paintbrush at the age of 30, I was a medical social worker. I followed my creative whispers, and today I’m an artist & Possibilitarian. I’m passionate about creating meaningful art and experiences that awaken and inspire our spirits.

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