not just in my dreams

Jan 28, 2007 | Life in Progress

i’ve felt better these last couple of days. sometimes it just takes a really hard day or two to get myself moving in the right direction and to make a change, however small it may be. it also helps to get out and spend some time with friends, new and old. garrett was in town for a day and we had a nice dinner together at a greek restaurant i’ve been wanting to try. it couldn’t have come at a better time. lots of snuggling with john, and bella, too. and i made another new friend today through a new friend i met last week. i love how this happens. how you meet someone, then you meet their someones and before you know it, you have a community. i love community.

our life in oakland is so completely different from our life in portland that i’m still adjusting and sometimes homesick, not just for the city of portland, but for a different life completely. i miss hiking on a regular basis, weekend trips to the coast, camping, walks in the city, familiar parks and restaurants. i miss my old job and the familiar commute of getting there and having lunch with my work friends. i feel less active here and i spend more time alone than i ever have. of course, these things can easily change. and that’s what i’m going to try, with real intention, to do these next several weeks.

it’s odd how life or a particular mood can take shape over the course of several days. i’m a sensitive girl. if i wake up having had a bad dream, it’s hard for me to immediately shake the feelings i had in my dream, and before i know it, i’m feeling off. weird. i did, however, have an incredible dream last nite that had me laughing and giggling so hard that i woke myself up. it’s been months since this has happened, and when i finally came to, i was smiling for real, not just in my dreams.

Sending much love,

Show/Hide Comments (7 comments)
  1. dfh








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  2. deirdre

    Bad dreams stay with me too. But how great that you get to wake up giggling from a dream. What a gift. It seems the homesickness is coming in waves for you. I hope this one passes soon. Besides, we still need to meet for tea.

  3. Alexandra S

    Hi there Kelly! I’m so glad you are feeling better. I know you just have to move through those days in your own way, at your own pace. Before long you will be back in Portland and going to all your favorite spots!

  4. Laini Taylor

    Love that you dream-giggle, Kelly! Glad the mood cycle has moved on and you’re feeling better. Wish you were still here. I haven’t met very many kindred souls in the years we’ve lived here. It stank to have you move away so soon after meeting YOU! I hope the paintings are coming along well, too!

  5. gina

    I’m glad the down mood is passing some. I’ve been wondering about you…called you on Thursday…did you not get my message again in your home voicemail? I wish you had a cell phone again…
    These are hard moments this year. I really hear you and want so much for both of us to find our way…you know, to find a consistency that right now seems to elude…even if we feel good, there is still something inconsistent, pausing, waiting, hesitating underneath to reveal itself.

  6. kelly

    amen sista…i know what you are saying. especially about waking up from a dream and not being able
    to shake it. it’s funny, all i talk about these days is moving away from here. i am in the opposite mode. but it is good to think about the feelings you do have after a move.

    hang in there girly!

  7. Marilyn

    I feel for you…it can be terribly hard sometimes adjusting to a new chapter in one’s life in a new locale. (I know, I went from Portland to a little 3-mile wide rock in the ocean…sight unseen.) But a laughing dream? Those are the BEST. I LOVE when those happen! Hang in there…it’ll get easier. If you ever wanna hook up for coffee, let me know…I’m only about 45 minutes away from you.


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I’m Kelly Rae Roberts

Before I picked up my first paintbrush at the age of 30, I was a medical social worker. I followed my creative whispers, and today I’m an artist & Possibilitarian. I’m passionate about creating meaningful art and experiences that awaken and inspire our spirits.

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