We really do get to choose – there is so much freedom in that, no? Here’s what I’m learning. When we choose, we really are taking in one thing and letting another go. I envision a sweet conversation: Hello, joy. I like you, you feel good, let’s be friends, I choose you. Hello, anger. You’ve taught me so much, but in this situation, I’m letting you go and wishing you well. Much love, Kelly Rae
No drama. No cray cray (my new favorite word for “crazy” – learned it on so you think you can dance). Just choices. I choose choices!
I had to share this short video with you guys. It’s True laughing hard at bike tool that he thought was sooooo hilarious for some reason. He just got his first two teeth these last couple of weeks, and clapping, and mimicking like crazy, and furniture walking, and and and. I can hardly keep up with how quickly he’s becoming and growing into his full joyful life.
One of my girlfriends stayed with us for a few days with her two kids last week. We talked for a long time about True’s birth. As I was telling the story, I remembered how many times I had to tell it just after it happened before feeling slightly okay with it, before feeling even a tiny bit of healing, before having my aha moment. Now that a lot of months have passed without my speaking about it, it felt really good to tell it from this perspective, from where I stand today. I can see now how I found my empowerment as a new mom, not inside the birth experience itself, but in recovering from it with a fully in tact and very very open heart toward a sweet little soul name True. I could weep at how grateful I am to have made it through.
In other news, it feels like our lives have really changed these last many months with my parents living in Portland now. John and I have been on two (TWO!) dates, have had lots of help with the baby and the house, and man, I feel like I’m breathing so much easier knowing they’re here and supporting our family. Feeling really blessed. So many changes this last year – I’m soaking them all up and into my heart spaces. It’s a whole new life 🙂
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