I recently attended an EXTRAORDINARY retreat in Costa Rica called Shift. I deeply believe in taking time for ourselves, for our spirit and souls, to go inward. There is so much noise that we ingest on the daily. I fine that I need a retreat every now and again to silence the noise so that I can hear my own heart. This retreat was a risk for me. It was in Costa Rica, far away from home, and it was all about meditation, something I don’t know a lot about.
I decided to listen to my gut and go and grow. Below is a day by day account of the shifts that occurred for me. I hope it inspires your own shifts. We are in this together.
I’m here in Costa Rica attending the Shift Retreat. The women leading the retreat, Lacy + Kayla are sisters. They are pure freaking medicine for the soul. Powerful, wise, tender, bossy in all the best ways, knowing.
For those of you who have been following along for years, you may remember Lacy when she worked for me. Before there was Nichole, there was Lacy. She worked for KRR, and she was my first actual legit employee for about two years. And then she went off into the world, called toward a very specific journey of meditation, healing, and leading others to their own healing. Since leaving KRR, I’ve been watching her journey unfold, and have been on the sidelines in complete awe of her courage, abilities, and grace as she has built her new path. I am just so stinking proud.
This week I get to be Lacy + Kayla’s student, and I’m SO FREAKING GLAD about it.
First things first: holy wow. holy moly. holy shift. Day 1 was incredible.
When I arrived at the hotel yesterday, I plopped myself down on the bed, exhausted after a super long 18 hour journey to get here. When I looked at my phone, it said 2:22. I knew then what I’ve always known: I was guided here and the timing is perfect.
Today I did my first real-deal meditation, though I’m coming to understand that I’ve been mediating for years without knowing they were mediations (more visualizations), or at least not knowing how to really tap in.
Today I full-on meditated, twice – even though it was hard to focus at times, even with the body aches, when though I have no idea what I’m doing. AND I learned so much, so very much from Lacy and Kayla about how it all works – how to get what we’re supposed to get from it, how to give ourselves a boatload of permissions around it, how to use it for wellness, manifestation, and healing. How to breathe.
After both meditation, I felt how I feel after having acupuncture: supremely relaxed, peaced out, like all my energies have been nurtured and calmed. I was astonished to learn that both mediations were 20-25 minutes when they both felt like only 7 minutes had passed.
Also, lots of gorgeous visuals in these two meditation. Lots of golden drips of light, lots of peaceful knowings, lots of love energy that at times overwhelmed me to release a lot of tears. And delight. Just a lot of delight on day 1.
I am learning meditation is for every single person on the planet, not just the enlightened. I’m learning that meditation can be a way to all the things we are seeking and long for.
Also learning again what I’ve known to be true: that our imagining it, is God/Source/Universe’s creating it. I’m thinking that meditation and imagination are BFF’s in a really interesting way.
So there you have it. Day 1, like all day 1’s of a new experience/learning feels a bit overwhelming and exciting all at once. It feels like I’ve discovered a new but ancient tool that can continue my wellness journey and connection to God/Source (all on day freaking 1). Also, I felt a strong connection to my guide during one of the mediations that brought me to tears as I’ve only been able to reach her through channeling sessions. That I can connect with her in meditation, blew my heart wide open.
Also, we are meant for these journey’s of self/world/god discovery. I’m so glad I said YES to this.
I am continuing to be so grateful to have been led here. My intention for why I’m here became clearer today. Simply put, I want to be a student of the knowing that lives inside me as a way toward expansion and light in all realms, in all roles.
My mantra for this week came via Kayla (who is here co-leading the Shift Retreat with Lacy). It is this: Let it be easy. Let it be enough. Let it be loving. Such a good and powerful mantra for me this week. Grateful.
I didn’t anticipate the level of soul work I’d do here. It’s big and deep and a little hard and also easy and enough and loving.
We did a powerful meditation today called Ananda Mandala. It was powerful, loving, healing, and it blew my mind and heart wide open. So much release. So much love energy felt and received. I cannot stop thinking about it. We all sat in a circle, holding hands during the meditation, and the undeniable current of love energy moving through our hands blew my mind. So powerful.
I saw a gorgeous crown made of leaves and gold on my head toward the end of the meditation. The message was clear and one I have received before: You are the one you’ve been waiting for. All that is divine and holy lives inside of you. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
Later, I took a hard, sobbing look at some limiting beliefs I have (that I thought were long gone) so that I can begin to rework them. Soul work. Hard. Good. Needed. Loving. And mostly empowering.
We ended the day with a Jappa meditation that had us each exhaling sound as a group. It was so light and the energy was a bit silly that I had a full blown giggle fit. Right there in the middle of meditation. It was the best.
I am in really good hands here. Lacy and Kayla could not be more in the center of their purpose, talents, and callings. It has been an honor to witness and to be on the receiving end of their wisdom. For those of you who are curious about what I’m doing, head to @lacylike’s profile and click on her link for retreat info. Can’t recommend it enough.
Also, if any of the insights I’m sharing resonate for you, then please know they’re for you as well.
It was the third day of sitting on a floor – inside a screened in room in the middle of the jungle – for six hours (with a break in the middle). Shifts are happening. I even had a dream last night that was pure clarity and that helped reframe an old unhelpful belief into one of empowerment (a belief about taking up too much space).
My heart continues to be so grateful to be here. I will return home a better mama, a better human.
The first meditation of the day revealed for me how quickly it is to shift energy and old beliefs. I planted a seed in my body during my first mediation when I arrived here and today it was a full blown gorgeous magnolia tree with white velvety blooms shooting out of my crown. Her roots were strong, her trunk super sturdy with support. She was me. I was her. She took up all the space she needed. And she smelled good.
Lots of gold dust and winged imagery in my mediations.
In fact in the second meditation of the day, I became a painting that I painted many years ago (it’s called Open Heart, for those of you interested). The painting says the words “open heart” on her throat and she has itty bitty wings. Anyway, in my meditation I was her and those itty bitty wings grew into these HUGE white fluffy wings that eventually dispersed into gold dust. Super serene, peaceful.
Later we did a very powerful meditation around feminine and masculine influence we’ve had in our lives. I was a bit resistant to this one, but in the end it was a powerful way to forgive, thank, and understand. I’m really glad I committed.
I’m getting more and more excited about integrating meditation into my regular life. This trip is making me see how easy it can be. One little move at a time, wellness is becoming my life’s practice.
It was a free day for us. I slept in, ate, lounged, walked on the beach. I didn’t think or do too much but rather let my body integrate its new patterns and learnings.
Did I tell you the menu for all meals, all week, has been vegan? I got a little worried but it’s been pretty amazing, especially the sauces. Wow.
I am a bit homesick but it’s not a super charged emotion. I cannot wait to get home and start working some of this magic and energy movement stuff with John and True and even Lulu.
The visualizations that I continue to have in my meditations are so beautiful and healing and resonate so deeply for me. I can’t wait to get home and start painting some of them.
Lots of continued gold, gold, gold. Dripping gold. Butterflies as messengers, crowns as powerful declarations, rainbows as protection.
I find myself walking the line of a childlike energy and an old wise energy. The duality lives in all of us. And I’m super interested in how to access both, all of the time because I know they are one.
I’m also learning some pretty wildly astonishing tricks to move energy out of my body. To release without much charge. To tend, to acknowledge, and then to help release it out of my body with complete ease.
There is so much evidence already that this work I’m doing here around energy and beliefs and intention is working. Feels really really good and solid.
Our last day is tomorrow and I’m excited to integrate all of this into my everyday life.
I’ve been eating purely vegan for 6 days now and although I appreciate the cleanse, I am really going to enjoy my regular food routine at home. I am also missing my people. And my gym workouts, too!
So yes, lots of ease today. Lots of playing with energies. Lots of knowing that I am (and you are) exactly where we most need to be in this moment – that everything then, now, and later is happening for our highest selves.
I am so so glad I ventured all the way to Costa Rica, all the way into my inner life, all the way to the places that reside in my heart and want to be nurtured.
It was magical. Can’t recommend the Shift Retreats enough for those of you who might be feeling the call
Hi, I’m Kelly Rae Roberts! Before I picked up my first paintbrush at the age of 30, I was a medical social worker. I followed my whispers and started playing with paint, and everything changed.
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