One of my lifelong fears has been my distrust of abundance. I often struggle with thoughts like: It can all go away in a split second. You don’t have what it takes to sustain this. The shoe is going to drop. I know these fearful beliefs rose out of memories from my younger years, when tragedy and loss taught me to distrust joy and prosperity. For as long as I can remember I have struggled with thinking that the world is not a safe place.
Over the years I’ve learned that when small thinking starts to creep in, it’s fear that is trying to pull me out of the present moment, which is the moment that is always inviting me to step forward into my light, to shine, and to celebrate the privilege of being alive. I can choose to let this fear pull me off course, or I can hold on to this breath, this present moment truth, and be anchored here in gratitude. It may not be easy, but still, I do have the power to choose it.
Painful memories and life experiences can take years to shake. When we think we’re ‘over’ something, there it comes again, trying to cloud our vision and stifle our thoughts. It’s simply a part of being a human, which is wonderfully complex. We are tender and fierce. We are soft and strong. We are fragile and courageous. We are beautiful paradox.
When we hold onto these truths, we remember that our vulnerabilities are actually spaces for our greatest power and our brightest light to come through. We can step into those vulnerable places and offer compassion and comfort to the younger selves who experienced the birth of our biggest fears and traumas. We can walk through those memories without ever losing sight of the limitless power of our wings to soar, and soar even higher, into our bright and beautiful lives. This is soul work, our sacred work, our heart’s work.
Here’s to our soaring. Now and always.
XO
Feeling unsettled at the start of this new year and have been poking around your website for truths to quiet my heart. Ahhhh … this. These writings on fear and vulnerabilities and soaring. Thank you … Also have changed my desktop to be your ‘soul care manifesto’ that I would read it daily and live it, day by day.
Thank you so much for being here, Carol! I so appreciate your kindness!
Thank you, Kelly Rae. This post really touched my heart – and I’m going to save it to come back to again and again – whenever I get scared and forget this beautiful truth.
As with everyone, I have faced my share of traumas. I have also experienced an enormous amount of joy. But then, 7.5 years ago, the cumulative effect of my traumas overwhelmed me and I became chronically ill and live in severe pain. That said, I have learned so much from this experience and am again ready to fly, regardless of the poverty, pain, desperation and hopelessness that may have crushed another. I’m ready. And thus, I was SO ready to hear these words of yours today.
I think you should make this one into a manifesto!!!! If you do, please let me know.
Much love and respect, Alanna Jane ❤️?
Being ‘anchored here in gratitude’ is so much more healthier than focusing on the ‘small thinking that starts to creep in’. Thank you, Kelly, for your encouraging and inspiring message!
Oops, apologies; that should have read Kelly Rae.
The raw truth of that first paragraph, brought tears to my eyes.
It helps so much when someone shares their struggles with these same thoughts, that are a result from a painful past. Especially someone who has successfully pushed through and followed their dreams. It gives me hope that I can do the same. This post came at exactly the right time. Ever since I started taking this new journey, the synchronicities keep coming.
Thank you for this. xoxo
Yes, paying attention to the synchronicities is so important and so enlightening to what’s going on!
Ah, small thinking, i know soooo well! One thing I have learned is that fear and pain need to be heard. I used to suppress them in any possible way with the result of having them screaming even louder. Now every time I feel anxious or insecure I try to listen. It’s not always easy, but it’s the only way I know to really take care of myself, and get back on working on my dreams, live life and actually enjoy being alive.
Yes yes yes to being fully alive
So many truths in this beautiful post Kelly Rae. Thank you so much for your insight and encouragement xxx
Thank YOU for your kindness!
dear kelly rae,
it is so good to read your words. that obviously everyone struggles with fears and traumas from their past. i lost my mum 11 years ago for breast cancer. in the same year also my grandma died. i found out i also have a high risk of getting breastcancer which sometimes makes it really hard for me, to believe in the positive part of life. but i have two children (4 years and 9 months) who i want to be truly alive for. not “just” for them, also for me. because this f***ing illness took my mum away i still have issues with her death, her fighting against cancer and my role i played in all this. so this year – after 11 years i startet psychotherapy. for me. for being more positive in my life. and it really helps me. and i see: it is never too late to start new and be more positive and thankful for my life!
all the best from
austria,
martina
Dearest Martina, thank you so much for sharing your story. Sending you so much light and warmth for you and yours! Brave brave soul
What a gift to read this today. Thank you for a lovely post.
Thank you!