It’s incredibly beautiful in Portland these days. Spring is here, for reals. As beautiful as it is, I have a small case of the blues. And it’s sort of driving me bananas in the way that things do when we can’t shake it. I’m certain is has to do with all the transition. My soul just wants to feel settled. I made a promise to myself: I. Am. Never. Moving. Again.
Ha!
I’m working on giving myself all sorts of permissions these days: to take my time, to not take my time, to have good cries, to just be with it all and let it teach, heal, and lead me to whatever it is I need to learn.
Something tells me I’m heading into a bigger awareness. I’m craving lots of reading time, lots of writing time, lots of creating time. And a big part of the blues is the frustration I feel around not having the time, though realizing that it’s up to me to make the time. Lots of friction.
Meanwhile, one of my favorite people on the planet, Mati Rose came up for a quick visit. You know that famous poem by ee cummings, i carry your heart? Mati’s newest children’s book is an illustration of that poem and it’s just incredibly sweet. I teared up as she read it. If you haven’t seen it, you gotta check it out.
I’ll never forget the first time I met Mati. It was in 2007. I was 31 years old, trying to be a true blue real deal artist when I wasn’t working as a medical social worker. I had just moved to Oakland from Portland (for John’s graduate schooling), and Mati lived in San Francisco. Mati already was a true blue real deal artist and I loved + adored instantly. We became very fast friends. We’ve been on a journey these last 7 years as we’ve built our creative businesses, and as we’ve navigated love and life. Here’s my very first post about Mati when we were becoming friends (I still have those yellow shoes!)
Remember the Wear Your Joy Project that I started? I’m still doing it, friends! In fact, I have a big post coming up with more pics and links (you guys have been asking for it – coming soon!). I have to say that even through the blues I’ve been feeling lately, this practice of intentionally wearing my joy as been really helpful in lifting my spirits. It’s the littlest things, no?
So. As part of the practice, I tried out a headband. Felt a little funny (vulnerable, really), but I’ve always loved how they look on other women, and so I gave it a shot. And guess what? Love! This particular headband is made by Pistil – love their scarves and hats too!
In some very VERY big news, I’ve hired a full-on business manager. Someone who is lovely, and smart, and holds so much experience. She flew to Portland and after spending a couple of days working with her, I hired her! I love how totally aligned she is with my values + mission. Also loving that she can hold the big vision and dreams that I have and help make it all happen. I’m nervous, excited, and just so incredibly ready for more help when it comes to both strategizing the big picture of where my business is going as well as all the micro, detailed stuff. It’s time. It’s likely been time for a long time, but I’ve hesitated to take the leap. I’ve jumped, friends. I’m all in, and totally trusting the journey. I have big dreams on where I’d like to go. I ready!
True is hilarious these days. I’m thinking 3.5 is the best yet (although we seem to say that with every age). It’s singing, and dancing, and funny phrases, and running around the house, and climbing, and sweet hugs and kisses, and endless curiosity. Sometimes my heart can barely take the sweetness of it. John and I often say that we hit the jackpot with this awesome kid. It’s hard, but man is it good. And can I just say that living with someone who is in a constant state of wonder is such a gift. Love him.
More soon.
XO,
Kelly Rae
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