It happend again. Just now. Just a minute ago. I’m glancing at my google reader list of unread blogs – it’s been months since I’ve caught up on my blog reading. And just like that, I click to read a blog post of a dear someone I follow, and I’m all back in. All back in.
To the comparison game.
To the man, why didn’t i think of that game.
To the life is so much cooler over there game.
Since becoming a mom, since moving my biz out of my home, since stepping away from working such long hours, since creating some online boundaries for myself (like not reading blogs much anymore, distancing myself from online everything, etc), my focus has been clearer, more mindful, and my time is either spent relishing the time with myself or my family or happily working. I’ve grown to liking the feeling of being oblivious to the internets, to the chatter. There was a time, though, when I very much relied on it – the inspiration, the motivation, the community. It was a game changer for me in finding my voice, growing my business, discovering my tribe, and I will always be crazy grateful for that. But like every relationship needs from time to time, I’m re-evaluating my relationship with the internet. I suppose I’m trying to grow into the next phase, the next layer of how I can use it to better myself, and not the opposite.
Such a tricky walk to walk. It occurred to me the other day that I’ve been online in some form or another (blogging, website, social media, ecourses, etc etc) since 2005! That’s SEVEN years. Holy smokes – so much to celebrate, so much abundance, but also a bumby ride from time to time negotiating the benefits vs the pitfalls of an online life. Because that’s what it is – a life, a sort of alive thing that represents your offline life in snippets here and there. And just like in real life, I want my online life – what I choose to read on it, create for it, etc etc – to make me feel alive.
For now, I suppose that means I’ll keep doing my thing, working it out, and trusting that a new rhythm will emerge that feels comfortable and right.