been thinking about how vulnerable i feel sometimes when i meet other people who mention that they read this blog. anxiety creeps in. nerves flush my cheeks. and i get a bit shy. i feel the enormity of my fumbles, displayed here for all the world to see. i feel the growing pains of emerging into my 30s, displayed here for all the world to see. but mostly, i feel the awkwardness of my creative beginnings, displayed here in my archives for all the world to see. this is the part that makes me flush with a bit of embarrassment – the idea that my journey into the creative life has been played out in this very space – from the first painting i ever painted to the first art retreat i ever attended to my first gallery show to all the inbetweens. sometimes, if i’m being perfectly honest, it makes me cringe just a tiny bit in pure embarrassment. but even still, there’s a reason i haven’t deleted my archives. it is this: it’s all a part of my story, beginnings and all. especially beginnings. it’s the beginnings, just like in any love story, that hold all the beloved drama, the delicate insecurities, the passion, the longings, and the intense grips of inspiration – no matter how awkward beginnings are, they have such beauty, the start of incredible paths of flight.
my personal journey from my creative beginnings to now (which often still feels like a beginning) has been less than graceful but i am learning to embrace the vulnerabilities of all that is shared in this space, the very things that make me just another girl who is learning, stumbling, creating a life for herself doing the thing she loves, and who is celebrating all that exposed awkwardness as a means to growth, and love. it all matters.
monday’s giveaway winner is: kelly valentine!!! kelly, get in touch with me so i can get your print out to you! giveaway continues for each day this week. enter a comment to enter to win!