thoughts on returning 3000 miles home

Jun 6, 2008 | Life in Progress

i have so much to share…so much zooming inside my thoughts. i made the long trip home to florida to see my family, specifically to celebrate greggie’s (as i affectionately call my stepdad, greg) retirement. i was a little worried about making the trip alone (john had to stay behind for school), but i can’t tell you the peace i felt when i snapped this photo. i had been having some anxiety leading up to this trip: what if the plane crashes and i die alone, i wondered. (i’ve had a major fear of flying ever since our plane was hit by lightening in the dead of nite many years ago as we traveled across the country in route to our wedding. the plane was fine, but i never really got over the initial terror of seeing the lightening actually strike our plane, the booming sound it made, the way the plane stumbled a little bit, the smell of burning metal, and the very real and immediate thoughts of thinking we were for sure going to die.).

i had also been having some anxiety about traveling all the way home to a place i don’t go very often, where memories loom and take me back, sometimes to an old self i’d rather not visit. it’s hard sometimes to feel all grown up, like the grounded woman i am today, inside the walls that housed my awkward, growing up years. but as i sat on the plane, watching the sun set high above the clouds, i felt totally inspired. peaceful – without any of the pressure i had feeling in my chest leading up to this moment. i don’t know why, but sitting on a plane always makes me feel hopeful and free, even when i resist ever getting up in that brilliant sky.
when i landed, this is where i arrived – my parent’s gorgeous little bungalow with the purple door. inside is a treasure trove of inspiration. art on the walls. funky decor. color everywhere. and unique ideas in every details. i can’t wait to show you photos of this house, where my mom’s talent of design and decor live in every room. as i walk inside the door, my mom gives me her little tour of all that’s changed. she shows me the new paint in kitchen, the new arrangement of furniture in the office, the latest (and cutest) creation to be born from her hands in her studio. as she continues, i chuckle to myself at how much i am just like her: i also love to show visitors these sorts of things, the little collection of details that make me me. i got it from my mom. she’s taught me the importance of surrounding ourselves with things that bring beauty – not necessarily material things – but treasures that hold meaning in our life, images that comfort us, color that brings life. it’s all important.

driving around town today, i felt the memories taking hold: how my bff gina (whose driving down tomorrow from georgia) and i would get off the schoolbus in the 7th grade and proceed to the nearest, grassiest lawn to do round-offs and back handsprings together. how, in later years, i would spend every single friday and saturday nite at Einstein’s, an all ages club that was the hang out for all the goth kids, the indie kids, the music brats, the creative types of our age. it was heaven. memories of who i was, how i was, how i’ve changed have me in grips right now the way that traveling 3000 miles home does. life is so fascinating, no?

inside all of it, this is what i feel: really happy and full. i’m glad to be home. i was in a bit of funk last week and now i’m here in 95 degree weather and humidity, wrapped in frenetic conversation with my mom, planning a big retirement party, making appts for haircuts, massages, friend dates, and more. i do miss my man, but it’s all good. i think i need to make this trip home alone.

more soon…

Sending much love,

Show/Hide Comments (13 comments)
13 Comments
  1. justagirl

    “Home” is such a lovely word especially when it is attached to the wonderful house your mother has created.

    Really nice for you to have a bit of time away by yourself, even though you are missing people it is still a good thing.

    Reply
  2. jo

    What a terrifying experience, to see lightening hit your plane! So glad you have overcome that fear and were able to return to your parents home. And what a lovely home it is! Can’t wait to see some of the details and collections from the inside of this house. Sounds like being home has had a rejuvenating effect. Enjoy your time their surrounded by loved ones.
    Jo in Australia

    Reply
  3. aprylian

    Isn’t amazing how all those moments–even the awkward and painful ones–helped to create what we are today? Beautiful post, Kelly!

    ~aprylian
    CreatingConsciously.com

    Reply
  4. Relyn

    I can’t wait to see inside your parents gorgeous cottage. Till then, keep on loving your time at home. Sounds like you will have a terrific time.

    When I lived a distance from my parents, I always loved going home alone. I loved and missed my husband, but it was so great to be able to give all my attention to the parents I adored and missed. Plus, alone, I got all their attention. Boy, did we ever have fun! We still have fun now that we live about 20 miles apart, but it used to be all packed into a few days.

    I hope you really enjoy your time at home.

    Reply
  5. Christianne

    i’m so glad this trip is having a better, more peaceful effect on you than you thought it would. and i agree with kelly — your mom’s home is so adorable! ahh, i love it.

    yeah, i’m wrapped in that 95 degree weather and humidity right now, too. it’s fun to know you’re in florida where i live right now, though kirk and i traveled south to delray beach for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary.

    hope the rest of the visit is as blessed and peaceful and rich.

    Reply
  6. Cath Sheard

    Yay you for going home alone and really ‘being there’ with your family.

    Reply
  7. zquilts

    What an exquisite home! Try to just relish the fact that you have a home to return to – with all of it’s ghosts & good and bad. Have a wonderful time!

    Reply
  8. Heather

    Sounds like a wonderful visit, I cant wait to see pics of your home!~

    Reply
  9. NANCY LEFKO

    enjoy yourself, wrapped up in all that is “home.”

    Reply
  10. Sheila

    I am new to your blog and had to pipe in and say this is a lovely post. You touched on so many feelings I have when I go home…and that house is fabulous! Looking forward to the photos!!!

    Reply
  11. Lisa

    what a lovely description of all that is “coming home”. and tell your mom her house is gorgeous! I can’t wait to see more.

    Reply
  12. kelly

    i am drooling all over that home.
    enjoy your stay.

    Reply

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I’m Kelly Rae Roberts

Before I picked up my first paintbrush at the age of 30, I was a medical social worker. I followed my creative whispers, and today I’m an artist & Possibilitarian. I’m passionate about creating meaningful art and experiences that awaken and inspire our spirits.

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