the universe is speaking clearly to me this week. messages are everywhere: go on a hike and breathe in the world (it’s been awhile). let it (the pressure) go. go and have some much needed fun with your girlfriends. and don’t take your laptop to nyc. in between the spaces of a life filled with friction lately, a constant pushing and pulling, is me. another growth spurt. as jen so eloquently wrote earlier this week, not all growth happens in hard times. good, happy, bliss-filled times are just as valuable at expanding our hearts with new thoughts, new aha moments, new direction. that is a place i’m much more accustomed to. all of this recent stuff is wearing on my heart. and i suppose it will until i understand what it is i’m learning. i’ll get there. in many ways, i’m already there…i have learned so much in the last 48 hours.
i lost an entire chapter yesterday. gone. my mistake, but still, an entire chapter, one that i struggled most of the way through, and one that had me doing a proud happy dance when i finished it. i won’t go into details of how i lost it, but the point is is that after i had a complete panic attack over losing it, i sat with this knowing: the words i struggled over, edited a million times, were simply not meant to be. i will rewrite it, and it will be better. the universe, the writing gods, must want a different version. maybe i’m not supposed to struggle through it. maybe it should come easier to me, more fun, this new version. the ironic part of all of this is that the chapter was about facing our fears when it comes to living the creative life. ha, my biggest fear, losing an entire chapter to my own mistake, came true. it happened. there are worse things in life.
i am off to nyc where i will dance in the nourishment of hugs, and conversation, and cold weather. there will be tea and laughter and people watching. and people connecting. there will be soul renewal, good ol fun, and old friends walking arm in arm, talking spirit to spirit. there’s nothing better, is there?
much gratitude for all the joy and gifts that this space gives me..
krr
Hi, I discovered you through the Sept/Oct cloth paper scissors. I read your article while sitting at the hairdressers. It made me laugh and cry. I love your work and so does the lady at the hairdressers who looked at the pictures over my shoulder. More importantly I feel that the universe was telling me to stop procrastinating and have a go!!! Thankyou so much.
I love your art. I loved reading Donna Downey’s post about discovering your art and being so drawn to it and “lifting” from it to learn and try something new. Have a great time filling up your spirit and senses; you so deserve it!
this is a stunning photo of you!!!
hope you’re having a wonderful time in nyc!!!
i love that you went there…arms and heart wide open…ready to receiving the blessings that awaited you there 😉
xo
You are amazing. In the midst of something that could have been so heartbreaking, you stepped back and as Liz so perfected said, “reframed” it and onward you go. May this weekend bring you the rest and fun that you so need right now and may you come back to a new and wonderful perseptive and voice for that chapter.
Safe travels…thinking of you.xoxo
Ohmigoodness–when you wrote about losing the chapters I seriously felt your pain. My laptop died in September and I lost 5 new chapters of my novel. That was the most sleepless night of my entire life; I kept waking up and crying. As it turned out, they were eventually recovered but I so know how you feel…it’s difficult.
I admire how you are choosing to view this challenge–moving forward, rather than defeat. Rock on!
Sending you love…
xo
Kate
(selftaughtgirl.com)
Found your site through Donna Downey. Absolutely LOVE your art. I’m actually finding it hard to choose – but I will! What did we do before blogs?
i absolutely adore your art! i happened over from a friend’s space and have been perusing….
i like your attitude about losing the chapter… i think i would have been panicking, but you remembered that things happen for a reason. i’d love to hear how the new chapter turns out….
I just wanted to say that I love your work! I found your blog from Donna Downey’s. I will definately be checking in from now on.
Keep a smile on your face and creativity in your heart!
my new word for keeping the momentum, the action, “the begin” in my life is reframe.
we can indeed reframe the bumps/hills/mountains in our path so that we can keep moving forward. it is a really good thing.
and, i can’t wait to read the new and better and “fuller” chapter you will write as a result of this experience.
oh and ps last night while i was at B&N and was in the art+craft section, i started giggling when i realized that this time next year i will be pulling your book off the shelf and placing it strategically for all the world to see…
xoxo,
me
Have a great time – it will be a wonderful change from all that intense writing.
Glad you pointed out that growth doesn’t just happen in the hard times – it’s easy to forget that sometimes.