(he’s been doing this really hilarious thing where he sticks his bottom lip out when he’s done feeding and ready to nap – cracks me up every time.)
all is well over here. i am working hard at not working hard on the days that i have baby true (when john works his looonnnggg days) and then i’m working hard on trying to focus on work/deadlines/creativity when i have the time scheduled out to do so. everything about my life (play, work, downtime, studio time, etc) is super scheduled these days. it’s a whole new way of working and operating. i miss the days of following that idea NOW or writing that blog post NOW or working on that painting idea NOW or running out to do xyz NOW. so yes, i have a lot to learn inside this new way of scheduling every single detail – a lot of adjusting and stumbling and figuring it out. we’ll get there, but these beginning efforts feel super wobbly.
for now, i’m trying to be super gentle with myself while also practicing various routines/rhythms until i find the one that feels right. the one thing that definitely and most certainly feels right is simply and fully being present with baby true on the days that i have him all day/evening long. i surrender all work, all to-do lists, all expectations. and we just do our thing. i love it.
today, i was video taping him doing something funny with his tongue when all of the sudden he busted out with his first real deal, full-on laugh. it was awesome.