the sex of our baby, revealed

we snapped this photo today just after we found out the sex of our baby. we were sitting in the car, wild with joy, calling our families to deliver the news. it was awesome, like the day we called to tell them we were pregnant.

i am finding that there is so much judgement that comes with being pregnant. everyone has an opinion about whether or not you should find out the sex (which, by the way, isn’t is an awesome surprise no matter when you find out?), if you should have natural childbirth, what’s a good name, what’s not, what you should eat, etc. as i navigate all those waters, i’m learning that i’m pretty strong, that as long as i stay true to what works for me and john, then all is well.

and what works best for us, at this very moment in time when so much is happening in our external lives, is to know the sex of our baby so that an internal connection can begin to deepen and grow. we know ourselves very, very well.

and so it was. we found out today what i’ve suspected the entire time (and had hoped for): we are having a baby boy!!! i can hardly believe it’s true! we called our families, we went out for breakfast, we celebrated, and walked around in wonder all day long. we’ve settled on a name but we’re holding it close – it makes me beam every time i think of it and the way it came to be is a special story for telling another time.

when i got home today, i couldn’t help dragging out the old baby photos of me and john. i wondered and daydreamed about what our baby boy would like like….

(that’s me with my full tummy on the left and john on his 4th bday on the right. so cute!)

will he have have the blond curls like john and i both had? will he have john’s famous lips (they’re pretty awesome). will he have cute sausage arms and a big tummy in toddler years? the daydreams carried me through until all i could think about was how much knowing that he is a he has already widened and deepened my longing to know his heart.

seriously, i really can’t wait.